Oktoberfest Tips and Tricks

With one Oktoberfest in Munich under my belt, I have a list of things that will make it all easier the second time around:

• Start working out before you go. The beers have about 500 calories each. I'm not even going to get into the food options. I think that over the weekend I had 6.5 liters of just beer, so that means I need to get rid of 3,000 + calories. Oh and also - do some arm workouts too - those liters are heavy glasses.
• Stock up on Gatorade and water. You're going to be dehydrated. When you come back for the day try to finish one of each. Might also be nice to have some anti-bloating stuff too since after all, beer is carbonated.
• Get 10 Euro notes prepped. Everything costs about 10 Euros each, and when they bring your beer, you pay for it right then. It's soo much simpler to just hand over one piece of paper. 
• For the ladies with dirndls, two words: Bike Shorts. Not only will it prevent any creepers from taking pictures from underneath, you're going to want an extra layer. Walking around can get chilly, but you will be happier with some extra padding when you're sitting down, too. The seats are long wooden benches that are terribly uncomfortable to the posterior for extended periods of time. (You won't know it then, of course, as you'll be too engrossed in drinking - but you'll wonder why your you-know-what is sore waking up the next morning). 
• Setup your hotel room for when you get back. Stick your Gatorade and water in the fridge, setup your pjs, makeup remover, whatever - then you won't have to think about it.
• Decide on a game plan: In a tent, out and about? What kind of experience are you looking for? If it's just to wander around in a crowd, go for it. If you want to sit and drink all day and push less drunkards out of your way, get up super early so you're in the tent when it opens (you won't be getting in later). 
• When it's time for the restroom, get up before you really have to go. If you're outside, you're going to be in a line for awhile. It sucks. Also - consider a restroom buddy so you can both make sure you don't wander off. Just make sure that the rest of the people you're sitting with can hold your seats at the table.
• Go with a great group of people. Sure, throw in a couple wildcards if you want, but hanging out with people that have the same goals, same alcohol tolerance and same fun-loving attitude will enhance your experience. Don't go with someone who wants to be a downer and doesn't want to drink beer. Neither of you are going to have a great time if you want to drink lots of beer.
• Carbs are amazing. No, really. You'll want to soak up the alcohol, so eat that pretzel! Have a big breakfast, too.
• Find your closest McDonald's (or other drunk food of choice). When the munchies hit, you'll be ready to stumble over if you've already added it to your phone or map.

And finally...

• Let stuff happen. You can't fully experience Oktoberfest if you do everything by the book, so allow for the unexpected. Talk to Germans. Let them take you on a free subway ride. Try something weird to eat. Ride the rides with Germans and end up with crazy pictures on your phone you don't remember taking. Trust me, you'll end up with a thousand inside jokes and memories if you let loose.